Complete Guide to Spectrum Games – Part 12

Alien BlasterAnco Software, 1983

Way back, in the mists of time, my dear mother bought me the legendary Cassette 50. I can’t remember much about it now (post traumatic stress, y’see), but I do know that whenever I hear this noise bad things happen. Let’s just try to move on, shall we?

Alien BlitzMelbourne House, 1983

There’s nothing I like more in a game than to have giant broken UDG bullets rained down on me at the speed of light without even being given a hint as to the controls, all accompanied by some ugly beeping.

Wait, I meant hate, not like. Sorry.

Alien Command Microware, 1983

So, it’s Space Invaders again, only this clone’s got a trick up its sleeve. Can you guess what it is? Take a look.

Alright, so it’s two tricks – one is having approximately four million invaders come at you at once. The other trick is to take away all your bases and give the invaders an impenetrable shield to hide behind. The only time you can shoot one is when it opens a tiny hole in the shield and throws itself at the ground. That’s right – you’re fighting Suicide Invaders.

Words fail me.

Alien CurseProfisoft, 1984

Ah, it’s not quite Space Invaders. This time you’re having a million tiny little bombs dropped towards your feeble, giant laser base. Let’s not waste time here – it’s crap, but not quite as crap as Alien Command.

Alien DestroyerSinclair Research, 1984

This was the very first game I played on my very first Speccy. It’s a Galaxian/Space Invaders clone, and it’s not brilliant. But it’s a damn sight better than half the games here today. I’d go into it some more, but I really can’t believe that any of you haven’t already played it.


  1. “You know how we’re actually quite lucky that Codemasters don’t allow distribution of their games, so I can use it as an excuse not to review all their ‘Advanced Simulators’?”

    Hey, hold on! I’m not having that! You promised a review of every Spectrum game ever, not a review of every Spectrum game that isn’t distribution denied. In fact, you can’t even use that as an excuse, seeing as you have reviewed no less than two “distribution denied” titles in this part.

    Therefore I respectfully demand that every Spectrum game – including tons of budget-priced absolutely brilliant advanced simulators (and Alien Death Mine Massacre XII and Alien Abduction Simulator from the CGC) – is reviewed by yourself.

    Just remember to delete those distribution denied games after you’ve finished reviewing them, eh?

    “I’ve a horrible feeling that phrase’ll be on my tombstone.”

    No, your tombstone will read:
    ‘Here lies Nathan. He never did finish reviewing all those Spectrum games.’

  2. Well, I’ve just checked and it turns out there are, shockingly, only three Simulators in the As, and I think I’ve got them all. (On tape! On tape! Don’t sue me!) So I suppose I can put those in the end-of-letter round-up (which is going to be longer than the Alien Special at this rate).

    As for the CGC entries, well, er… I’ll definitely get back to those at some point, perhaps in their own ‘special’ section. After I’ve dealt with the numbered games. And all the Spanish text adventures.

  3. you know, im very very hungover, but whoever did this writes the funniest reviews too

    you’re a genius

    should be sitting with mr gorman on the tv

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