Twitters, Twitchers, Twits and er… Facebook. Sorry.
May 28th, 2009 by PhilI’ll start by mentioning the interminable scandal over MPs’ expenses, which is rapidly descending into the land of boredom. Yes, we’re all heartily fed up of these people, but there’s something faintly nauseating about patronising news presenters who are being paid nearly twice as much, asking them snide questions. It’s time to move on, people.
Now that obligatory topic is out of the way, just a few random thoughts that occurred to me. One, it’s been a while since I’ve posted my random nonsense here, and it’s always worth seeing if any of our 3.5 readers still exist. Two, it took me seven attempts to remember my password. And three, the post title was too much to resist.
Have you seen that Spring Watch nonsense that’s currently on in the evenings? It basically consists of otherwise-probably-sane individuals getting disproportionately excited over birds being fed and other such excitement. A typical extract involves them cutting away from the birds for some exciting breaking news:
”And we now go over to Geoff Featherbrain who has just spotted some badgers!”
“Yes, Fergus, it’s really exciting here. If you look closely you can just see them disappearing off the shot!”
“You mean we waited days to see them and the moment you called us, they buggered off?”
“Er, yeah. Sorry.”
”Hmm, ok. Well, look at these lovely chicks!”
Turning to Twitter for a minute (to fulfil the contractual obligation of the title), is it just me, or is it completely crap? I mean, yes, I know I’m completely crap (as that syntax proves.) What I’m trying to say is, can there be anything less pointless than these random updates of what you’re doing throughout the day? Ok, Facebook (of which more in a moment) has status updates, but at least there is some point to Facebook apart from constantly telling people what you’re doing. Apparently. If anyone has a clue what Twitter is for, answers on a postcard please.
Just a final word on Facebook. It does have the odd redeeming quality, like the groups about Speccies and YS. But have you noticed how irritating and repetitive its ‘news feed’ is these days? Do I really need to know how many people are setting record scores in Bejewelled Blitz? The ‘friend’ and other suggestions are even worse. ‘Two of your friends are a fan of sleeping in late,’ it pointedly informs me, to which I respond ‘and what about the other 214?’ Do these people get up at the arse crack of dawn every day for the sheer joy of it?
In case anyone happens to be wondering where the Twits come in, you’ll be disappointed if you’re expecting a Roald Dahl feature. It was those darn MPs, y’see. You just weren’t paying attention.
Popularity: 43% [?]
May 28th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
I just realised that I used the word ‘excited’ far too often. Maybe I need a thesaurus. But since probably no-one will read this, I might just get away with it, or pass it off as parody. Or something.
May 29th, 2009 at 8:19 am
There’s a YS facebook group? Quick, to the search box!
May 29th, 2009 at 10:11 am
By the time I get home of an evening, the only thing allowed on the television is that entirely mistitled jewel of anti-entertainment “Britain’s Got Talent”. We’re approaching the end of that show now (I think - or is it already over?) so you’d think everything would be peachy, but no - they’re already advertising “America’s Got Talent”. And that’s going to get followed up with “The X Factor” or some such nonsense. I’m hoping that Simon Cowell has some sort of horrible accident and gets off my telly for a few months. Or perhaps I’ll be really lucky and he’ll be crushed to death under his obscene piles of money.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:13 am
I think the idea of Twitter is that you’re meant to subliminally absorb the details of people’s lives and personalities that you wouldn’t usually get to know, so that when you meet them your social interactions are improved. “How’s the shed-building going? I have a spare tin of creosote if you want it” or “Hey, you eat sushi a lot don’t you? Know any good places around here?”. And you can avoid all the “eating toast for breakfast, god I’m so depressed” posts by only following interesting people. Like, um, me.
But Facebook is complete pants (or at least, it was when I tried it for two weeks and then unsubscribed because the Zombies Versus Pirates spam was annoying me) because all people ever seem to do on it is classify themselves into meaningless groups… whether that’s “people who like sleeping in late” or “people who are most like a parsnip according to the ‘what root vegetable are you’ quiz”. So I wrote a Javascript demo about it.
(Do people *actually* talk about Spectrums and YS on those facebook groups, or do they just join and go “ooh look, 71 other people have the same interest as me”?)
May 29th, 2009 at 11:33 am
You see, I didn’t “get” Twitter at first, when I signed up a couple of years ago. Then I gave it another go a few months back and now I realise what it can do.
On one side, it’s just chatter. Noise from people you follow. This isn’t really much of a purpose, but it’s often funny. Following the #eurovision trending topic while Eurovision was on was *amazing*.
On the other side, it’s a tool, if you use it right:
1) If you follow news site tweets, you’ll get breaking news before anywhere.
2) If you follow bargain site tweets, you can get in on the sales before the majority.
3) If the right people are following you, you have a hivemind beyond compare at your fingertips. Ask a question, and someone is bound to know the solution, quickly. I’ve found it generally more useful than Google recently.
Facebook though? Not a chance.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I joined Facebook a couple of months ago, but purely for practical reasons - it’s a good way of keeping in touch with old friends and family who are x-hundred miles away. I don’t go in for the pokes, games, “hugs”, “gifts”, etc, and keep the fan stuff to the current TV programmes I’m watching (if there’s a fan group tightly tied with it). I also don’t go in for that “I saw your face once, therefore you’re my friend” bollocks - my “friends list” is short compared to others, but very high quality. Basically if you haven’t spent a lot of time with me IRL or online, you won’t get on it.
May 29th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Yes, all “social networking” is bulls**t (did it censor me, or does this blog just not work in Opera? sorry if I comment twice). I’m only commenting so that you know you still have at least one reader. The other day I thought, “It’s been a while since YS3 did its alphabetical WoS game reviews. I bet some more games have eased into the earlier cracks by now.”
May 29th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
A hivemind, eh? It sounds a bit dangerous.
You’re all right, of course. Facebook is crap (in a mildly diverting kind of way.) And it’s partly to blame for me finding my way back to YS3, just when you thought you’d never have to read my twaddle again (*twirls false moustache*)
Simon Cowell is one of the most irritating individuals on television, probably in the top ten. Considering he’s up against the likes of Jordan, Ant and Dec, and that irritating comedian whose name I can never remember, that’s some feat.
As for the alphabetical reviews, that’s Nathan’s department, so I’ll hand you over to him. Nathan, come and answer this comment please.
(five minutes later)
I think I heard him mumbling something about having to catch a plane to Abu Dhabi. Sorry.
May 30th, 2009 at 1:22 am
Well, Abu Dhabi is suitably early in the alphabet. No doubt it’s “research”.
May 30th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Well, the Complete Guide was started over two years ago, and he hasn’t finished the “A”s yet. If we assume he has, which compensates for letters like K, X and LL which probably don’t have many entries, the reviews will be finished by 2062.
I’ll be in an old people’s home by then wibbling about Spectrums and persuading the nurse to let me use the computer so I can “see if that nice man has reviewed those games yet”.
Nathan will be in a different old people’s home persuading the nurse to let him use the Spectrum.
I might have to just download Zzoom myself to see if it is any good.
June 1st, 2009 at 1:59 pm
“the reviews will be finished by 2062″
Yeah but the world ends in 2012…Amiggideon Time as The Clash once sang.
Good anyway that is still some life left here.
d.f.