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Twitters, Twitchers, Twits and er… Facebook. Sorry.

I’ll start by mentioning the interminable scandal over MPs’ expenses, which is rapidly descending into the land of boredom. Yes, we’re all heartily fed up of these people, but there’s something faintly nauseating about patronising news presenters who are being paid nearly twice as much, asking them snide questions. It’s time to move on, people.

 Now that obligatory topic is out of the way, just a few random thoughts that occurred to me. One, it’s been a while since I’ve posted my random nonsense here, and it’s always worth seeing if any of our 3.5 readers still exist. Two, it took me seven attempts to remember my password. And three, the post title was too much to resist.

 Have you seen that Spring Watch nonsense that’s currently on in the evenings? It basically consists of otherwise-probably-sane individuals getting disproportionately excited over birds being fed and other such excitement. A typical extract involves them cutting away from the birds for some exciting breaking news:

 “And we now go over to Geoff Featherbrain who has just spotted some badgers!”

“Yes, Fergus, it’s really exciting here. If you look closely you can just see them disappearing off the shot!”

“You mean we waited days to see them and the moment you called us, they buggered off?”

“Er, yeah. Sorry.”

 “Hmm, ok. Well, look at these lovely chicks!”

Turning to Twitter for a minute (to fulfil the contractual obligation of the title), is it just me, or is it completely crap? I mean, yes, I know I’m completely crap (as that syntax proves.) What I’m trying to say is, can there be anything less pointless than these random updates of what you’re doing throughout the day? Ok, Facebook (of which more in a moment) has status updates, but at least there is some point to Facebook apart from constantly telling people what you’re doing. Apparently.  If anyone has a clue what Twitter is for, answers on a postcard please.

Just a final word on Facebook. It does have the odd redeeming quality, like the groups about Speccies and YS. But have you noticed how irritating and repetitive its ‘news feed’ is these days? Do I really need to know how many people are setting record scores in Bejewelled Blitz? The ‘friend’ and other suggestions are even worse. ‘Two of your friends are a fan of sleeping in late,’ it pointedly informs me, to which I respond ‘and what about the other 214?’  Do these people get up at the arse crack of dawn every day for the sheer joy of it?

In case anyone happens to be wondering where the Twits come in, you’ll be disappointed if you’re expecting a Roald Dahl feature. It was those darn MPs, y’see. You just weren’t paying attention.