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I Dream Of Aliens

Following an extended bout of insomnia/real-world enforced sleep deprivation, I’ve just had a nice comfortable twelve hour sleep. Naturally, my subconscious couldn’t let such an event go undisturbed by bizarre visions of dystopian near-futures.

1) Star Trekking.

So, for some reason I’m on a vaguely Star Trek spaceship. Only it’s a little more utilitarian than they are on the TV show – the bridge is not only huge, but is connected to the rest of the ship by ramps and staircases rather than a lift. I have a bit of a wander around, discovering a nearby medical treatment room that’s full of the sick and dying and a weapons replicator, which I have a good play only to discover that the more powerful phasers are rather heavy. On leaving the replicator room, I also find that one of the doors I’ve left open has allowed a bunch of Half Life-esque aliens to enter and wreak havoc. (Oops.) I’ve also stuck with a standard phaser, which turns out to be a bit rubbish. I then spend five minutes running around trying to lock the aliens in one room so that I’ve got time to go and replicate something useful, like an AK47, only to find that most of those Star Trek automatic doors don’t lock.

In hindsight I should’ve just shot the control panels.

2) An Eighties Extravaganza

First things first, I’m Burt Reynolds (and his cowboy hat).

Burt Reynolds.Anybody seen V? The aliens from that invade. A huge mob of people decide to flee the city I’m in at night, crossing train tracks and roads. Huge numbers of people are killed by a massive truck that suddenly ploughs through some hedges and across the road they’re fleeing down, then backs up to finish them off. It’s all looking a bit like a Holocaust documentary, so I decide to head back and stop some woman with a pram from getting any further. Only it turns out that she thinks the guy in the eighteen wheeler is there to meet her. I give up, steal a car, and head off down the train tracks.

Soon after, I use my Burt Reynolds trucker awesomeness to get a job driving an eighteen wheeler to another town. Apparently this other town has been mostly spared from the invasion, due to its awkward location. I have to drive my truck over a mountain. The road starts out merely hair-raising – very narrow, winding along and up a mountain range. By the end the road is banked, looping, and sharing space with train tracks. I can only assume that rather than a train, it’s a rollercoaster.

Anyway. I finally arrive at the town to find no alien presence at all. The guy who I’m delivering to tells me that there are some resistance dudes holed up in some mountain forest nearby, and maybe I should go visit them. (I suppose he was convinced I wanted to help the resistance by my cowboy hat, or perhaps by being Burt Reynolds.) So I gear up a little first, taking a CB radio and a gun, then head off into the forest.

Diana off of VIt doesn’t take long to find the resistance. Unfortunately it doesn’t take long for me to discover that there’s a traitor in their midst, and the aliens arrive almost immediately afterwards and a firefight breaks out. The lead alien, Diana, who’s managed to survive Michael Ironside in another resistance cell, is quite surprised when I cut off her arms with an axe, and then cave her stupid alien skull in. I then cover a resistance retreat further up into the mountains, until we finally hit the edge of the map, which turns out to also be the wall of my bedroom, and we’re on this mountain only I can see my carpet miles below, and none of this is making any sense and I wake up.

My first waking thought was to check if I was still wearing my hat.